Skip to content

Time to Say Goodbye- But with one last opportunity

Hi Folks

This is the Self Defence Expert signing off for his last blog!

Well on this site anyway- As of next week all of my posts will be on www.theselfdefenceexpert.com which is up but being devloped as we speak. It will be the site I always wanted it to be. Full of reviews, articles and videos.

Now to sign off I will show you a previous article I wrote below which is about Jamie Clubbs amazing seminar he calls Vagabond Warriors.  This is on 28/4/12 at Telford, see the link to get the details

I have personally seen this guy in action and he knows his stuff. Even if you dont belive me check out his amazing promo video below, read the review and sign up. Don’t delay. This could change your martial arts forever!

THE REVIEW 

The Self Defence world is changing. For many outside the industry this will mean nothing and not effect you in any significant way. However the truth is that right now a revolution is going on behind the scenes. Where this revolution will end I am not sure however some of the most amazing minds in self defence are raising their game. This of course adds to a great side effect: others will follow and keep pushing the boundaries. This will take self defence instruction to the next level. This is what I refer to as the ‘Elite’ level. This post concerns one such expert, Mr Jamie Clubb. It is both a review of his methods and his new Vagabond Warrior Seminar that I took part in on 25/2/12 at kyushinkai Karate in Telford. Jamie is pushing his game to the next level. But what would happen if you put 2 experts in the same room and what would by my thoughts about his skills, his teaching and more importantly his new seminar the Vagabond Warriors.

It was strange to arrive and see Jamie Clubb in person for the first time. He wouldn’t consider himself a celebrity however I have been reading Jamies articles for some years now. I first got switched onto his writing in Martial Arts Illustrated and liked his approach. He seemed a student more than an instructor in those days but as I found out more, it was clear he was simply going on a journey with various other martial artists to enhance his game and learning from Self Defence legends like Geoff Thompson and Mo Teague. What this means is that he has gained a lot of experience which has no doubt been mixed with his own views and opinions.

The point I’m making is that for me this was actually a chance to meet with another expert in the field of self defence, having two experts at any event can be strange especially when one becomes the student to the other. However I have always been keen to add to my knowledge and Jamie I feel was a wise choice for me to train with. My ‘cup’ has never been full, I am always looking for new input. So let’s get going this is my review on Jamie Clubb’s Vagabond Warriors seminar.

Vagabond Warriors Review

The Seminar started some time prior to the actual date. Jamie has developed a very unique method using Facebook where by he delivers constant information to the group prior to attending. This is excellent, entertaining and exactly what I expect from someone who will be at the front of the new revolution of self defence. It is almost like the modern version of a course pre read.The course itself was very easy to register. An on line payment system and a course code allowed Jamie to get my deposit and for my place to be guaranteed, this made life easy and again had a very professional feel to it. As I found the venue I got a parking space on a good sized parking lot. Again this made life very easy. The venue itself was amazing, great facilities with pads, mats, an classroom and even a cage. This was a very professional school, in fact the whole process so far had been very well oiled. I was officially impressed. At this stage everything was well polished and professional but would it continue?

The Vagabond Warriors is a very unique course and to be honest I wont tell you exactly what is involved because I know the content will change, however I will discuss the overall feeling of the course and what I gained from it. The idea of this post should be to allow you to make an informed decision about your training and if you would like to get Jamie down to your club or class or if you would like to attend his seminars.

The course began with a good classroom input, very polished via power point and including some great concepts. Then it was a day spent on the mat and in the cage with a few further class room inputs included. The course is packed with drills but most importantly if you were to ask me what it is all about I would say “the Vagabond Warriors is about discovering and developing a personal system of self protection that is for yourself. It is a course that will provide structure and ideas about your own training and your goals and as an instructor helping your students do the same. In many ways it is about linking your martial arts training, your sport/fitness training and your self defence training together.”

Jamie has come up with a very impressive and clever idea here. The battle for most martial artists is always what to focus on and why. The Vagabond Warriors is designed to help you process the ever growing information out there so you can become a better martial artist. Its not a self help course, its not a self defence course and its not a MMA course yet it delves into all these areas. Although I know Jamie wouldn’t like me identifying the self help part but Jamie is actually delving into this subject. Not in relation to your personal problems or your life goals but solidly focusing on your Martial Arts Ability. To be honest I actually liked this part of the course a lot. Jamie has some really unique concepts here that will immediately get you mentally asking questions of yourself.

I am certain there is no course like this one as Jamie seems to have found a way for the modern martial artist to focus on their training and get the most out of it. The course really is a guide on how to do this. From fitness to attribute training. You will learn how to construct training drills, improve existing drills and how to reflect on your training.The course is a fantastic value for money event as it will help you to make the most of your own training. I highly recommend it to anyone who is currently a martial artist.

To finish I have posted some video below of Jamie. He has thrown down the gauntlet for training seminars and to be honest has given me a level to aim for when I put my own seminar together this year.

To end the blog check out the footage and I will end with this note:

Vagabond Warriors is a course that is designed to teach you how to get the most value from your martial arts training. If you are spending money on your training right now and want to maximise your money then check out his course, it will help you develop as a martial artist and will give you concepts and ideas that you will be able to use straight away. I cannot imagine anyone that wouldn’t walk away from this course feeling pleased. It has a strong value for money feel that will add value to your current training. Jamie doesn’t say ‘do it this or that way’ instead it is about finding you own way and then focusing on this. All the drills are designed around this and so is the input. I have come away from the course with new ideas and thoughts and highly recommend you either attend or book the course for your students.

Here’s the video and remember keep safe

Andrew Holland

Don’t forget to sign up for these updates and the next edition of the newsletter is out very soon so sign up today and don’t miss out on cutting edge opinions and views around self defence.

theselfdefenceexpert.com

Big News for the Expert Blog

Hi,

This is a short article to explain what’s going on with both my website and this blog.

If you are a visitor to my site theselfdefenceexpert.com then you will notice its been Changing a lot. To be honest when I set it up I didn’t have any reason other than to have some fun and use it to promote seminars and a club I ran at the time.

I stoped running that club and have learned a lot more about the web etc and myself. I then started a free WordPress blog to share my views and the views of others in relation to self defence. I never thought I would get the response I have in the last 3 months.

As a result I have decided to focus on the blog and article side more. I feel this is the best way forward for me at this time.

So be prepared for in the next 7 days the new site gets launched on the self defence expert.com and will bring this blog with it. Making it bigger than ever.

I’ll keep you posted

Keep safe

Andy

The Reality of Knife Attacks- Shocking Video Included

The knife or edged weapon is perhaps one of the most dangerous things a person can face in their life. The reason for this is that the edged weapon (which I will refer to as  a knife but can by anything sharp) turns even the most unskilled person into a potential killing machine. They are readily available and are cheap. Most kitchens will have an arsenal of knives that in the wrong hands become tools that can result in the loss of life.

Now there are a range of courses out there that offer solutions to this, in fact entire martial arts and self defence systems have been created just to deal with the threat of knives. Its big business.  People will pay a lot of money to learn how to deal with the threat of knives. So what do I think, what does the writer of the fastest growing and most controversial martial arts blog on the web think? Well to be honest my view point on knife defence is surprisingly simple:

“Everything can work in an instructors mind, however not everything will work for the individual student”

Now to be honest that a bit of a rip off from Hock Hockenhiem’s comment of “Everything works sometimes, nothing works all the time” or words to that effect.( I heard this from someone who attended the seminar he taught, if its incorrect sorry Hock). I really liked it and got thinking about the comment and devised my own interpretation. The reason for my variation is that I believe that many instructors are creating techniques in their own mind. They get a rubber knife, create a technique, then get a friend to try and slash them and pressure test if it works. Now depending on the nature of the pressure test you get an assessment of the techniques ability to perform under pressure.

There is nothing wrong with pressure testing however something that most instructors are missing out in their equations are

  1. The Affects of Adrenaline and Stress
  2. The actual ability of the student
  3. The injuries from the blade
 These 3 components are essential when designing any drill or technique. Adrenaline will cause a wide range of chemical and physical responses in the human body. The ability of the student will vary depending on skill, fast twitch muscle fibres, awareness levels and levels of intoxication. The big factor here is also the injuries from the blade. If you defend yourself against a knife you need to expect to get injured, expect to get cut and expect to get hurt. After each cut there will be consequences that affect your ability to fight. Such as the knife that slices you tendons in your hand as you grab the blade to stop it entering you. Granted, grabbing the blade isn’t ideal but its better than getting stabbed, however once you have done this the hand you grabbed is out of action. You may also suffer cuts and injuries that reduce the actual bodies ability to deal with stress including blood loss, punctured lungs and much much more. Its a bit like the Carlson Gracie comment “Hit a black belt in the head and he becomes a brown belt”.
Knife defence training can offer some very good techniques that could help you defend your life. The great danger though is again from the instructors. You need to make the student very aware that when faced with a blade the best option is always escape. If you have to go hands on then expect to get hurt and expect to get injured. Teaching knife defence is a difficult subject and I know there are many courses that are very good out there, however for every good trainer and system there will be many that are totally unrealistic and even dangerous. We must never increase the students self belief that they can take a person on that has a knife and defeat them like a action film star.
I hope and pray that more quality courses dominate the market place and the ones who teach blasé bolt ons for knife defence are embarrassed enough to either review what they teach and improve it or stop their training entirely.
As I say to all instructors “teach what you know will work, not what you think will work”
Here are the videos, look at the speed of the attack and also the way the attacker closes down the cops. Even guns dont help the police in the videos

Until next time keep safe

Andy

http://www.theselfdefenceexpert.com

Sorry the blog isn’t ready yet

Sorry folks for those that got a sneak preview of my latest blog entry but it was a technical error.

The latest article is due soon and it is pretty cool.

Again sorry and I promise it will be worth the wait.

The One Tip That Will Improve Your Skills Today- Video Included

Training isn’t easy, fighting isn’t easy. Those that disagree either haven’t faced enough opponents or aren’t pushing themselves hard enough.

If you are looking to make improvements to your game here is one tip from Judo that will help. Its called Uchikomi or repetitive practise. The idea is that you drill a technique over an over again with enough power and ‘snap’ that if you didn’t stop it would simply be a powerful throw or lock etc. Now there are numerous ways to use uchikomi such as stationary or moving to name but a few. However if you want to add a good deal of skill to your ability then start training with that ‘snap’ and explosive vigour. Don’t just go through the motions, power your way in and feel the strength in your technique. Training like this will push you harder and gain you improvements far quicker than you can imagine.

So if you are drilling techniques, drill them with snap and effort to make your training as close to the real thing as possible. No matter if you do Judo, BJJ, boxing, RBSD Karate or anything in between. Need proof check out the short videos below. They are amazing. The idea is to make your training motions as real as possible so the real event is as close to your own training as it can be:

The first is called actually throwing practice but you can see the sheer power of the technique the second is uchikomi. Both videos show the snap and drive these fighters train with.

 

 

The Bulgarian Smashing Machine- Georgi Georgiev

A few years ago I was getting lost, lost in martial arts that is.

I had done boxing for so long, done Vale Tudo and submission grappling to name but a few. I had done Judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but I was getting bored. I needed to have that spark lit again.

It was a chance discussion with another Judoka that led me to a small club run by Georgi Georgiev. He was a quiet man and of similar build to me so after a few warm up techniques we started to roll. Then it hit me. This guy was Elite level! He tossed me around like a rag doll and tapped me out at will. That was the first session of hundreds I have done with my now very good friend Georgi Georgiev.

I knew nothing about him when I first met him, but since that first session I have become humbled by this giant of grappling, and to be honest, shocked! His academy located in Congleton Cheshire should be packed out, however as this man is so humble few people know about him, he really doesn’t ever promote himself at all but trust me he is an amazing grappler and an amazing teacher. Even if you don’t trust me here are a few opinions you can be sure to trust.

“George Georgiev has done it again, showing his great knowledge of the sport. His gripping on the DVD is what the people in the sport as been waiting for! It’s a must of all grades to buy and try to improve their gripping”.- Steve Pullen . MBE 6th dan.

“Georges gripping skills are second to none and as a left handed fighter he is instantly in a dominant position to outgrip any right handed fighters…if you want to learn gripping from a master buy this video”.Steve Ravensroft former 5 times british champion

“I have been practicing with george for three years and everyone knows about my gripping skills! and george is one of only a few judoka that gives me trouble , his knowledge of gripping tactics is excellent, valuable tournament info,defo worth a look,”
nick kokotaylo 6th dan,LA,Olympics 1984.

These people know their stuff. Georgi is a former international Judo player and Bulgarian  National Champion in both Judo and Sambo.

Check out www.gripfighter.com for more information about Georgi. He has  a new DVD out called The Grip Fighting Work Shop. This is just £10 and goes into the details of grip fighting for all Jacket sports such as BJJ and Judo etc. Georgi is in Cheshire so be sure to check him out and his academy at http://georgievmmaacademy.webs.com/

Check out the trailer and Georgis videos below.

Keep safe

Pro Boxing Coaches Top Ten Tips for Developing Power Punches- KO video included

Hi Folks this post is a great guest post from my father and pro boxing coach Neil Holland. He has coached amateurs and professionals (including champions in both categories), been a Inspector for the boxing board of control and been a boxing journalist, in short he has been around boxing since he was 17 and now he is nearing 60 he is sharing his knowledge for free here, he has mixed with and coached national champions and great boxers. This is a great post and there are more coming soon. Check out the great knock out video at the bottom as well.

NEIL’S TEN TIPS FOR MORE POWER

1. Improve and work on defence.

Why? This will give you more opportunities and better positions.

 

2. Improve your footwork

Why. This will compliment your defence and improve your striking positions.

 

3. Use weights to train for speed not muscle. (Less weight, more reps, in shorter times)

Why? Muscle strength dissipates with muscle fatigue. Correct whole-body mechanics delivers power more through technique than strength and is still there during fatigue.

4. Practise punching that involves rotation of the body.

Why? This generates good technique that feeds off good speed and footwork.

 

5. Concentrate on fitness and conditioning.

Why? Believe me everything in performance comes off the back of this.

 

6. Learn the difference between pulled punches and driven punches.

Why? Pulled punches follow the commitment of the body direction. The body weight pulls the punch through and accelerates it like a hammer thrower does. The driven punch uses the body weight to push the punch into the opponent. Both are much more powerful than arm punching alone.

 

7. Learn the difference between weight balanced evenly on both legs and weight transferred over the front leg or the back leg.

Why? This is a crucial sensation to master because it leads to small, fast and powerful shifts of body weight that enhance the punch. It seems an obvious skill but this subtle mastery is crucial to control of power involving timing.

 

8. Master timing. Learn to punch as the target moves towards you or onto any favoured shot. It will amplify the power you already have.

Why? It’s the car crash principle, the combining of the mass of two bodies plus their acceleration.

9. Lie on your back with shoulders flat on the floor and punch upwards.

Why? This will show you how power punching relies on body mechanics and is the best way to remind anyone that  simply jumping on the weights does not deliver best power. You will feel useless and robbed of nearly all power. Try it!

10. Get a good coach with a good analytical ability regarding technique.

Why. The sculptor Michelangelo  was once asked how he carved such beautiful sculptures. He said that he didn’t, he merely chipped away at the block of marble until the sculpture revealed itself……..You already have what God has given you. Find a good coach who can help you to blossom! It will not come in a weekend, but it WILL come if you work at it.

until next time keep safe

We Are Self Defence Specialists and we are Proud!

The week dragged slowly for me, it was the first time anyone had told me they were going to assault me. In fact they were going to “smash” my face in, kick my head in and leave me bleeding on the floor. This is what they told me, and what’s more they said it would be later this week. The worry would be prolonged.

I struggled to sleep, I thought about what I would do if it happened, I worried and I ate less.I was experiencing the slow adrenaline dump. However I wouldn’t fight him, I didn’t want to and I knew I would lose, I knew I could get hurt.

I walked home alone later that week, then I heard the shouts that to this day still haunt me. They were the shouts of a crowd, baying for blood. Perhaps the women accused of witchcraft in Salem felt this way. However as the group approached I realised it was him.

He had come to hurt me, he had come to smash my face in just as he promised.

I refused to fight him, I wanted no part of violence, I was not a fighter. He wanted a fight and without one the crowd got restless. So he threw a couple of punches at me that landed and hurt. I still said no. I didn’t want to fight. Without the fight he wanted he started to give up, even though the crowd told him to just beat me up he still said no. There seemed no point when I just didn’t want to fight

I thought I had survived this incident. That was until a member of the crowd wanting some fun stepped in and said “if you won’t do it, I will!” At that point I was brutally assaulted, punched and head butted until I was on the floor. Only by virtue I had managed to get right outside my home did it end. I had a split lip, a nose bleed and bruises all over. This was the moment that changed my life, I was just 11.

Since this day I have dedicated my life to self defence. This was my sole motivation in training in numerous martial arts and systems over the years. I never wanted to feel like that again.

This blog has seen massive success over the last 3 months and today I have had over 1000 views this month alone. It has been viewed so many times because I am passionate about self defence. My guest bloggers are also passionate and have shared their stories to motivate and encourage us all. A few people have criticised the blog and me,even when my name is not mentioned I know they refer to my writing. These people are few and far between.

The support I have received so far has shown me that this blog has a future, that self defence has a future. I believe the study of self defence can go from small groups in church halls to become a legitimate study which people want and ask for. I want parents to say that are taking their child to “self defence training”. I want the media to refer to us as self defence and self protection experts. I want a person to stand proud and say they are studying self defence.

We are not limited to one system, we can borrow from them all, selecting the best techniques for the individual student.  We use what works, studying real violence for answers and using martial arts where appropriate. We are the future of self defence and self protection.

We are warriors of reality, and some people will not like our harsh viewpoint of combat. But as I like to say, “A bruised ego heals a lot quicker than a  broken jaw”.

Thank you for all the support and positive comments. If you are reading this then I believe you too are proud to be a self defence specialist and student. You might not fight in the cage, you might not have a black belt, it matters not. We prepare for the most savage of opponents, those who would see us in hospital. Those who would see us away from our loved ones. Those who would laugh about causing us serious harm.

We are self defence students and I am proud to be a self defence specialist, I am always learning and always studying and I will share what I learn.

Keep reading this blog because the best is yet to come. Thank you for all the support.

Keep safe and be proud.

How To Create a Great Website for free in a matter of minutes

I’m no web developer or search engine specialist. I’m a martial artist and self defence instructor. However I have discovered a few tricks that could save you some money and I used these tricks to get to the first page of Google when I ran a  regular class.

The first step should be the reason you need a website. My advice is to have two. A personal site and a class site.

This gives you double the exposure. I have a paid for personal site at theselfdefenceexpert.com however you can do this free and I don’t believe it matters too much. There is also a cheap low cost method I will explain another time.

Your personal site can be important no matter your level, be it beginner or instructor. Use it to record your progress, share videos of your performance and more. However as an instructor its a place to showcase your skills and experience.

Your club site should contain enough information to allow someone to find you, contact you and know where you are and what you are about. If your teaching children perhaps you could display a child protection policy.

Ok so how do you do this, and how do you do this for free.

I personally use a service at
webs.com. This is my provider for thegrapplingreview.com which was actually
thegrapplingreview.webs.com before I got the domain. The webs service adds the webs bit on. However I don’t think its a major issue if you have a local business as we can get exposure later on.

The webs service allows you to create a free website in minutes using templates. It’s very easy and simple.

Your next step should be getting seen. As a local business your customers may either google local clubs to find you or actually google you from a leaflet etc so your first port of call should be google business. Get yourself Registered and on the map.

Next up its time to get business links. You can use a series of free websites to do this but ill save this for next time.

However if you want a free website with no hassle then get over to webs.com and have a play around. For those wanting more details ill be releasing them in a later post covering such things as getting a domain, writing blogs, WordPress, website development, getting to the top of google and more.

Until next time
Keep safe.

The Great Responsibility- Are You Training Victims and you don’t know it?

THIS BLOG HAS A WARNING- AT THE END OF THE BLOG IS A GUEST ARTICLE FROM A  VICTIM THAT IS EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL READING

It is hard to believe the great responsibility that martial arts and self defence instructors have yet very few actually realise this. Since I have started this blog I have seen a tremendous response, both positive and negative.  I have been accused by some martial arts instructors as actually attacking martial artists and the fact they help people by giving them the skills to both “protect and enhance their lives!”

Well what do I have to say to these people? Simple.

I really don’t care about upsetting the martial artist who has developed an over confident ego based on years of dojo training. Its funny how although I haven’t been a Jeet Kune Do student for many years (I tried it and It didn’t suit my needs at the time) I have read a lot of different things about Bruce Lee and the art. I hear that there was a backlash about his teaching and ideas from the traditional martial artist. Sounds Familiar eh?

Now I wont compare myself to Bruce Lee or indeed even the scholars who were killed for saying the earth wasn’t at the centre of the universe all those years ago. However I have been amazed by the martial artists who seem to think they have the monopoly on their ability to teach a person to defend themselves against real violence. The modern martial artist needs to study not only the physical skills but be proficient in law, first aid, fitness, criminal behaviour, criminal trends and more to be a good self defence instructor. Fortunately we have had organisations such as the British Combat Association preaching these things for many years now. We live in a time like no other, we have footage of real violence available to analyse and view for free all across the internet. However how many instructors are looking at this footage and then asking themselves the simple question “Will my training work?”

Violence shatters lives, it destroys people and the lives for their families. A single incident can cause serious physical trauma, emotional distress and in some circumstances even death. Don’t believe me take a look at the below clip.

in this space I had linked a youtube clip that showed serious violence. Having thought about this clip in further detail I feel the clip is not required to showcase my views. It is in the public forum but having watched it several times I feel that not only should I not use it that indeed it should be removed from You Tube. I hope you enjoy the rest of the article.

My friend Jamie Clubb often talks about the need for individuality in training, in other words training the person with an individual approach based on their needs. Now this is hard but it was something that my friend and subject of an upcoming blog Georgi Georgiev did for me. He focused my Judo training based on my height and build, my strengths and weaknesses, yet many classes are just a syllabus. Sticking to the syllabus at all costs. If you ask the instructor for a more focused approach you may be offered a private lesson priced between £20- £100. This is not focused on the individual. It focuses on the art.

Now this is the point I ask people:

Why are you training? Again something which is heavily focused on by the Vagabond Warriors Seminar I have previously reviewed. If you are training to keep fit there are likely to be better ways. If you are training for personal growth or skill mastery that’s fine. If you are training to learn self defence then this is when you need to get serious. Self defence is a serious subject, yet I find it strange when instructors are not willing to turn the microscope onto themselves, and ask themselves to not just ask if this works in self defence, but will it work for the student they are training?

To further punctuate this, having been to numerous schools of martial arts throughout my life. No instructor, not one has asked me what my own goals were and how they will help me get to this point.All our students may have been or could yet be victims of violent crime, it may not be the same violent crimes you have been victim to. It may be rape, gang rape, domestic violence, bullying, gang abuse, verbal abuse, threats, intimidation and much more. Are the techniques you teach designed to work for them in the situations they could face? Will it work for their build and body shape? Or are you guilty of just accepting the students money and going though the motions?

I have another guest blog from a person who contacted me but wishes to remain anonymous. Their post is most inspiring and educational. I ask you, how well do you know your students? You have a huge responsibility as an instructor. Your training encourages and develops people in so many ways. All I suggest is that you ask yourselves this question:

Will the skills that I teach actually work and meet my students needs and how do I know this?”

As I keep saying we need to use martial arts as a tool box to draw from, they are not the answer to violence. Violence will provide the answers we need.  Here is the guest article:

A little background…

I had a wonderful childhood, I was spoilt and sheltered. I had always had a rose tinted spectacle view of the world. People were generally nice, bad things happened to other people.

How wrong can you be?

When I was 17 I was raped by a ‘friend’ who had been experimenting with cocaine. I had never been hit before and the shock and fear left me paralysed. I had been blind to the dangers and naïve enough to think I could handle myself in any situation.

I am not proud but I made a decision to find a guy who could look after me. I quickly started dating a guy who was well connected, aggressive and took no messing from anyone. At first things were great, I thought I was safe. Then, at three months pregnant, he hit me. I’d refused to go for a night out. He was full of apologies the next day and I fell for it. Being hit then became an infrequent occurrence throughout my pregnancy. Soon after the birth of my son, it became a regular thing. I was treading on egg shells, never knowing what would set him off. There were too many excuses, drink, drugs, the football result… The list was endless.

I lost a lot of friends as I wasn’t allowed to see them or I was too bruised. My family stayed away, they knew the score but only came when things were too much and I had to call for help. I’d made my bed and all that and we had a child so I tried everything to make it work. I began to suffer with depression, and I hated my life.

I never went to the police and I often wonder if that would have made a difference. I saw friends in similar situations who contacted the police but if you’re not strong enough to leave, who does it help?

The turnaround…

I decided to make changes, starting with some part time work. I started making friends and my husband had to be more careful about where the bruises were. I felt better. I wasn’t such a bad person. I made the decision to leave when my husband was away and I did it! We had some initial teething problems, I was stalked, and still got abused when I took my son to visit his father but, slowly, things got right.

And now?

Writing this has dredged up a lot of bad memories, it is uncomfortable. There are still places I won’t go, things I won’t do, but that’s common sense and awareness. I still feel guilt and shame, I doubt that will ever go, but I can control it now and things are certainly better.

I took up martial arts, recommended by a friend. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and what made me tick. I do a little teaching and have made some amazing friends.

My hope in writing this is that people really think about self-defence, about their own and what they teach others. I’ve done various self-defence courses but most lack some of the vital components, for me at least.

I am choosing not to give my name. I wouldn’t want people’s opinions of me to change and I am not the same person I was.

Take care and stay safe  🙂

Thanks for sharing, I challenge the instructors and readers of this blog not to upset and criticise but to help enhance and deliver a better product to the public. Self defence is an important subject. Take it seriously.

Keep safe.